Something to believe in


grving

 

 

A few weeks ago a good friend had an heart attack the good thing he survived and is up and about as if nothing had happened, strangely for me I found myself talking to people about my personal loss that I had suffered thirteen years ago due to a chronic and extremely rare heart condition , I kept thinking to myself don’t be selfish everyone is here to talk to my friend and to shut up then I realized I was grieving for my son once more after all these years and it had been a while since I had grieved, my only blessing was it wasn’t too bad probably more annoying than anything else but none the less painful. Then the other day I saw the video about the Black dog all about depression and how it effects people and how to come to terms to depression, once again I was reminded about the grieving process the journey from feeling helpless to getting back on my feet and living with the feelings of grieving and how it leaves you then creeps back up on you and how I learned to recognize the symptoms and learned to live with them. Sounds crazy  when I look back to when I cried stuck in a traffic jam to be out spoken almost fearless to being in such pain that I felt I had an object stuck in my torso. Pleased to say I have moved on, time is a great healer and yes I do still grieve but nothing like I have done in the past and only a few times a year for a very short period of time. I guess the turning point was not remembering the day he died it just passes like any other day, trust me I am sure he wouldn’t have it any other way.

So I got thinking and wrote this poem

 

Something to believe in

 

When I am grieving

I need something to believe in

I know far too well grieving is deceiving

Just need

Something to believe in

 

August in the garden

The summer sun was burning

We were four

But now we are three

Love and hope runs away from me

 

When I am grieving

I need something to believe in

I know far too well grieving is deceiving

Just need

Something to believe in

 

My family needs me

For them I am no longer there

Through these tears I can no longer see

What will happen to them?

I can’t think for them or me

 

When I am grieving

I need something to believe in

I know far too well grieving is deceiving

Just need

Something to believe in

 

Grieving comes and goes

I can be feeling so good today

Suddenly grieving destroys all my tomorrows

All I can do sit and wait to for the grieving to leave

Confusing my mind so bad right now I need a reprieve

As I feel grieving arrive

I can feel grieving leaving

Like water flowing over my skin

May be

Just may be for a little while I can find something to believe in

DSL

 

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About darkersideoflight

Hi welcome to my world, I just noticed i have been writing here since 2011. You probably stumbled across me one way or another. I have been writing since the age of sixteen and soon I will be 49. I call my words poetry but i see the words as potential lyric to a song and one day when I have the time and money this is a road i will follow but till then I will be here. Please feel free to contact me if you are a musician or a band looking for a song writer and you feel you could work with me thank you and have good time where ever you may be.
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4 Responses to Something to believe in

  1. The Sentinel says:

    I glad that the pain has loosed its strangle hold on you. Even if the pain never entirely leaves. And yes, I do think we need something to believe in. Just sometimes, that something is elusive.

  2. Morgan says:

    A Truly Beautiful, selfless post….Blessings to you~

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