If God had an Office ( Je suis Charlie)

Je suis Charlie

If God had an Office


Knock, knock,

Come in God said

I stormed through the door and smacked him one square on the chin

Then God fell to the floor

You fucking bastard I screamed

Giving the lord a good thorough kicking


Picking him up by his beard

At the same time giving him a Glasgow kiss

So pissed I enjoyed that nose I couldn’t miss

I kicked him in the groin

I bet that took your breath away

Not as quick you took unborn Charlie



From his desk I took his holy book

God stood up in front of me with a split lip, tried to word or two to offer

Feeling better are we now Lord, smack! I gave him a right hook

Grabbing God by the throat

I pressed so hard he could not breathe

I put my lips to his ear

I bet you wish I would leave

You see mate

Just like little Charlie it is too fucking late

And if you fuck with me one more time

I’ll make scrap metal out of heaven’s gate


If God had an office that day

There would have been hell to pay


I wrote this poem almost fifteen years ago after my son died and my wife had what was thought a second miscarriage. I just felt it was right to publish again in support of freedom of speech.





About darkersideoflight

Hi welcome to my world, I just noticed i have been writing here since 2011. You probably stumbled across me one way or another. I have been writing since the age of sixteen and soon I will be 49. I call my words poetry but i see the words as potential lyric to a song and one day when I have the time and money this is a road i will follow but till then I will be here. Please feel free to contact me if you are a musician or a band looking for a song writer and you feel you could work with me thank you and have good time where ever you may be.
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